From the moment our babies are born, we, as parents, immediately going into memory-making-mode.  We want everything for our babies to be as perfect as possible including any birthdays celebrated or even their very first trip to Disney.  We make sure to capture as many of these moments in photographs and videos so that we can hang on to them forever.  These pictures and videos help preserve fragments of time and have the ability to take us back to an experience and all of the emotions that come with it.  It can often catch parents off guard when their toddler doesn’t recall the experience showcased in a picture or video.  No recollection, and not one feeling evoked from a moment or memory that you worked so hard to create. It can feel devastating, but it’s 100% normal.

Most adults cite they can’t remember anything prior to their third birthday.  This phenomenon is referred to as childhood infantile amnesia, or the natural and gradual loss of memories that occur within the first few years of life.  Child psychologists advise that this is a normal part of the brain’s development and explains that when memories aren’t repeated and retold, they aren’t strengthened and become lost over time. Memory is often referring to the ability to recall life experiences.  These types of memories, episodic memories, involve the part of the brain called the hippocampus within the temporal lobe.  The hippocampus isn’t fully developed until about the age of four – this is typically when children start to remember things consistently. The older children get, the more developed the hippocampus and the higher the probability a memory will be remembered.

Some psychologists also believe a reason for childhood amnesia can be linked back to a baby’s inability to talk about the experiences that occur prior to fluency in language.  Verbal language doesn’t reach a stage of fluency until about three years old.  Most adults start to recall memories beginning around this age.

So what does that mean for parents? Should we even worry about creating memories before the age of three if our baby won’t even remember?  The answer: ABSOLUTELY.  While conscious memory begins to develop beginning around the age of three/four, sensory-emotional experience memory is very present.  These types of memories can be provoked later in life when a similar event or sensory trigger is present.  A smell, or an image can manifest visions of a mom or father. 

Children psychologists say that it’s important to create these kinds of emotional and sensory memories because it helps strengthen the bond between parent and child.  Consider showing your children photographs and videos as your child ages to reinforce these emotions, especially when you can have a conversation about the experiences.

Childhood infantile amnesia is certainly not a reason to avoid celebrating a birthday or avoid having your first trip to Disney.  These moments not only help define who your child will be and who you are as a parent, but also the relationship you will have as parent and child.