Disciplining Your Toddler

Discipline today looks very different from what disciplining your child looked like years ago.  As parents, especially first timers, you want to do things “the right way” and avoid as much judgement as possible.  The first rule about child rearing is there is not one single “right way” to do anything.  Discipline should be as unique as your child because life is not a one size fits all situation.  With that said, parents typically encounter very similar situations that require discipline in one way or another.  While the following tips and tricks to discipline may not work for your child, parenting is all about learning what works for you and your family.  You may need to use a hybrid of techniques to get through to your child, and that’s okay!  When you feel like you’re at pro parent status, don’t forget to pass on your knowledge to the next parent in need!

Picking your battles is key to disciplining your toddler.  It’s easy for parents to get in the habit of continuously saying “no” but this can be confusing to a toddler.  Your priorities can be misunderstood and the reality is you can’t possibly follow through on saying no to everything.  Remember, there are certain behaviors your toddler will outgrow anyway, so it might be worth biting your tongue and encouraging the good behaviors during this period as opposed to over disciplining.

Understand that just like adults, toddlers are going to have triggers too.  If you know your toddler likes to grab things off a shelf and throw them at people, bring a toy with you the next time you go shopping.  This way, when you’re directing your child’s attention away from the store shelves you can have something to redirect them too.  This is also a great opportunity for explanation.  Why is it not okay to throw things at people? What is appropriate behavior in public?

Consistency is key!  This one is important so listen up!  Zero to Three, a nationwide nonprofit promoting the healthy development of babies and toddlers reported that between the ages of two and three, children are trying to process how their behaviors impact the environment around them.  If you react differently to similar situations you are going to send mixed signals to your child.  If you’re consistent with how you respond to certain situations your child may learn acceptable and unacceptable behaviors faster. 

Finally, try to keep things short and simple.  Don’t try to reason with your little one because you are the boss. Over-talking to make a point is a common parenting mistake and is considered extremely ineffective.  In many cases, your child is very young, he or she probably won’t even have the cognitive ability to follow certain, more complex explanations.  Speak in short phrases, repeat yourself often and try to gauge your little one’s understanding of the situation by asking short questions.

Raising children is hard work and it’s important to remember that you won’t always feel like you made the right decisions, or picked the right battles, but taking it one day at a time is imperative to your sanity. Don’t beat yourself up over the little things because the truth is, your child’s love for you is so unconditional that there’s nothing you’ll be able to do or say that they won’t forgive.